Modern advice for parents-to-be

Ten years ago, when you named a new child, you just needed to make sure the moniker was easy to spell and didn't rhyme with "smelly" or any other schoolyard taunt. But now, you've got to consider the search engine effect: is the name easily located via a Google search, or will your kid be confused with a multitude of John Smiths?

The solution? A unique name for which the only possible search results would be related to your child. But not actually "unique," since Social Security records tell us that 239 girls named Unique were born in 2002 (scroll down to "popularity of a name"). Imagine a baby boy named "Angus Katzenjammer." He'd have a wide open field since that search currently doesn't return any results. Or perhaps a young lass is named "Humid Lipstocking." With the exception of Google helpfully asking "did you mean Humid Lipsticking," it would be perfect.

In reality, you don't need to be famous or have a weird name to increase the odds of appearing in Google's search results. Just start a blog or build a website and you should eventually find yourself in our index. In an interesting twist on self promotion, some people have even bought AdWords ads which would result in the display of small text ads next to search results for their name. Yes - it is truly a brave new world.

Hunter Walk
(cursed by having a name consisting of two real words)
AdSense Partner Manager